As an individual, and as a society, we often find ourselves wondering why we never seem to be satisfied with what we have. We may ask ourselves why a wealthy person would commit suicide or why a billionaire would need another boat. The truth is, it all comes down to relative deprecation – a subconscious tendency to compare ourselves to others, and in turn, to constantly feel as though we are falling short. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” reminding us that by constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are robbing ourselves of our own happiness. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we should focus on our own progress and personal growth.
As the famous quote by George Orwell goes, “the very concept of objective truth is fading out of the world.” In other words, our perceptions of success and happiness are constantly shifting based on the comparisons we make, and this can lead to a feeling of never truly being content. In this article, we will delve deeper into the concept of relative deprecation and how it relates to hedonic adaptation, and explore ways in which we can shift our focus and break free from this vicious cycle. We all have a tendency to compare ourselves to others, whether it’s in terms of material wealth, social status, or even virtue signaling. This phenomenon, known as relative deprecation, can drive us to have negative feelings and emotions about ourselves, create a toxic society where people are hurting themselves and others to achieve abstract goals, and develop a culture of escalating self-righteousness that keeps us from connecting and communicating with each other. In this article, I will explore the concept of relative deprecation and how it relates to another psychological phenomenon known as hedonic adaptation, to help explain why people never feel like they have enough.
First, let’s define relative deprecation. Not to be confused with relative deprivation, which focuses societal groups compared to one another; relative deprecation refers to the tendency of individuals to compare themselves to their peers within their social strata, rather than to those in different social strata, when evaluating their status and self-worth. This means that even if an individual has achieved a high level of wealth, success, or status, they may still feel a sense of inadequacy or dissatisfaction when comparing themselves to others within their social group who have more wealth, success, or status than they do.
This phenomenon can be seen in various industries and passions such as finance, entertainment, sports, and the pursuit of love and companionship. For example, a wealthy individual may have a luxurious home, a private jet, and a yacht, but if they see their peers owning multiple homes, a fleet of private jets, and a yacht that is larger and more luxurious than their own, they may still feel a sense of dissatisfaction. Similarly, an actor may have achieved great success and fame, but if they see their peers winning more awards, receiving better roles, or commanding higher salaries, they may still feel a sense of inadequacy.
It’s important to note that this concept of relative deprecation is not necessarily negative. It can be channeled towards something that serves others, rather than just the self. For example, a wealthy individual may channel their ambition and drive to improve the lives of others by making charitable donations or starting a non-profit organization. An actor may use their fame and success to bring attention to important social and political issues.
Now, let’s turn to hedonic adaptation. This refers to the tendency of human beings to adapt to their circumstances, or in other words, quickly become accustomed to new possessions or experiences. As a result, people may begin to take these things for granted and start to crave new experiences or possessions to achieve the same level of pleasure.
This phenomenon can be seen in our culture, which often encourages us to strive for more, whether it’s through advertisements, social media, or even our own personal goals. We may also compare ourselves to others and feel that we need to have what others have in order to be happy or successful. This can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and a constant need for more.
Furthermore, there are several behavioral biases that contribute to this phenomenon. The endowment effect, for example, states that people tend to value things more highly when they own them, than when they don’t. The sunk cost fallacy states that people are more likely to continue investing in something when they have already invested a lot of time, money, or energy into it, even if the investment is not paying off.
So, how do relative deprecation and hedonic adaptation relate to one another? Essentially, they both feed into our tendency to never feel like we have enough. Relative deprecation drives us to compare ourselves to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. Hedonic adaptation, on the other hand, causes us to quickly become accustomed to new possessions or experiences as human beings, we have a tendency to adapt to our circumstances, known as hedonic adaptation. This means that people quickly become accustomed to new possessions or experiences, and the initial excitement or pleasure they provide begins to fade. As a result, people may begin to take these things for granted and start to crave new experiences or possessions to achieve the same level of pleasure.
But, why do we have this innate tendency to adapt? One theory is that it is an evolutionary mechanism that helped our ancestors survive. Imagine if our ancestors were constantly in awe and mesmerized by the world around them, they would have been less likely to notice and avoid potential dangers. Thus, it makes sense that we would develop the ability to adapt to our surroundings in order to better navigate and survive in the world.
However, in today’s society, this tendency to adapt can have negative consequences. We are constantly bombarded with advertisements and social media posts showcasing the latest and greatest possessions and experiences. We may begin to believe that these things will bring us happiness and fulfillment. But, as we acquire them and adapt to them, we quickly realize that they do not bring us the lasting happiness and fulfillment we were hoping for. This can lead to a never-ending cycle of wanting more and more, never feeling like we have enough.
This is where the concept of relative deprecation comes in. As humans, we have a natural inclination to compare ourselves to others. We tend to compare ourselves to those within our social strata, rather than to those in different social strata. This means that even if we have achieved a high level of wealth, success, or status, we may still feel a sense of inadequacy or dissatisfaction when comparing ourselves to others within our social group who have more wealth, success, or status than we do.
For example, imagine a wealthy individual who has a luxurious home, a private jet, and a yacht. They may feel proud and accomplished for having these possessions. But, if they see their peers owning multiple homes, a fleet of private jets, and a yacht that is larger and more luxurious than their own, they may still feel a sense of dissatisfaction. This is the concept of relative deprecation at play.
This phenomenon can be seen in various industries and passions such as finance, entertainment, sports, and the pursuit of love and companionship. We may see actors, athletes and other public figures who have achieved great success and fame, but if they see their peers winning more awards, receiving better roles, or commanding higher salaries, they may still feel a sense of inadequacy.
Relative deprecation can also be observed in the realm of social media, where people are constantly bombarded with images and information of their peers’ seemingly perfect lives. They may feel inadequate and like they are not measuring up in comparison. This can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety, and even contribute to the development of mental health issues.
But, it’s important to note that relative deprecation is not necessarily negative. It can be channeled towards something that serves others, rather than just the self. For example, a wealthy individual may channel their ambition and drive to improve the lives of others by making charitable donations or starting a non-profit organization. An actor may use their fame and success to bring attention to important social and political issues.
So, how do we combat the negative effects of relative deprecation and hedonic adaptation? One solution is to shift our focus away from material wealth and success and instead focus on non-material aspects of life such as relationships, personal growth, and contributions to the community. Additionally, it is important to remember that success is a relative term and that failure is a necessary part of achieving success. We must learn to appreciate the small victories and accomplishments in our lives and not constantly compare ourselves to others. Instead of striving for more and more, we should strive for contentment and gratitude.
Another solution is to broaden our perspective and recognize that there are people in the world who are less fortunate than we are. We should be grateful for what we have and use our resources to help others. This can be done through charitable donations, volunteering, or even just being kind and compassionate to those around us. By shifting our focus from ourselves to others, we can begin to break the cycle of relative deprecation and hedonic adaptation.
It’s also important to understand that relative deprecation and hedonic adaptation are not just individual problems, but societal ones as well. Society often promotes a culture of materialism and consumption, and it’s easy to get caught up in this way of thinking. We must recognize that true happiness and fulfillment do not come from material possessions or social status, but from within ourselves.
It’s also important to be mindful of the way we communicate with others and the messages we send. Social media and other forms of technology have made it easy to compare ourselves to others, but it’s important to remember that the highlight reel of someone’s life is not the same as reality. We must learn to be more empathetic and understanding of others and not judge them based on their material possessions or social status.
Relative deprecation and hedonic adaptation are two major factors that contribute to why people never feel like they have enough. They are driven by societal influences and innate human nature, and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. However, by shifting our focus away from material wealth and success, and instead focusing on non-material aspects of life such as relationships, personal growth, and contributions to the community, we can begin to break the cycle and find true happiness and fulfillment. Additionally, we must broaden our perspective and recognize the importance of empathy and understanding in our interactions with others. By working together, we can create a more compassionate and content society.
